My grandparents had a true romance. I am talking romantic movie, country love song kind of love. They would go out for romantic dinners and dance the night away. While doing the dishes my grandfather would throw down the dish towel and grab his wife by the waist, dancing her around the room. Every time my mom tells me these stories I feel hopeful that kind of love can exist in marriages today. It seems opportunities for simple romance are harder to come by in this age of texting our ‘I love you’ and tweeting marriage proposals but with a little effort I believe we can find some old fashioned romance
Grand gestures of love and romance seem to have become a fictional idea seen in movies but not in your own relationship.
But times have changed and life and relationships are more complicated than they once were. Years ago women played a very different role in society; we were limited in our life experiences and had very defined expectations for how we should live our lives. Now, pretty much anything goes for women; we wear what we want, do what we want, and say what we want. Along with these changes I think men have become confused over what role they play when it comes to romance. And quite honestly who can blame them? There are women who would feel insulted by a man if he held the door open for her, paid for a meal, or helped lift something heavy before giving her a chance to do so.
Over time I think that confusion caused a glitch in the system and the codes for romance changed. To avoid it disappearing completely we must learn to recognize romance in our own relationships. In everyday life romance could be your partner letting you sleep in, giving the kids a bath so you can relax for ten minutes, putting better lighting in the bathroom, or rearranging furniture at 11:00 at night because you are unhappy with the way a new couch looks. However it presents itself you must appreciate it and reciprocate, and in time maybe, just maybe, old fashioned romance may find its way back into our lives.
Here are some ways you could take charge of adding some romance into your relationship:
- Surprise your husband by cooking his favorite meal. Whether it is his mother’s recipe for goulash, a steak, or grilled cheese with tomato soup, if you cook it and it’s waiting for him when he gets home, you are sure to make him happy.
- Plan a date doing something he loves. This is about him so you may have to step outside your comfort zone and try something new. For example, I do not eat red meat but my husband loves it. When I plan a dinner date we go somewhere he can get a great steak and I can enjoy some seafood. Just make sure whatever you do, you can truly enjoy or he will not enjoy it either.
- Do something nice and helpful at the same time. Pick up his dry cleaning or prescriptions, iron his shirts, or buy his mother a birthday card so he does not have to.
- Have his favorite drink and some appetizers ready when he gets home from work. It can be as simple as a cold beer and some chips with salsa, as long as it is something he enjoys.
- Don’t forget to give compliments; men need to hear praise just as much, if not more than women. We have our friends to tell us how great our hair looks or how much they love our new shoes. Men have the women in their lives to do that.
- Leave a romantic card on the table to be seen in the morning or leave it in his car or briefcase (if he has one!).
- Be affectionate; hold hands, give hugs and kisses, sit close to each other when watching television, and laugh together.
And most importantly for no reason at all, throw down the dish towel and dance together!